Bobcat Goldthwait is a comedian, actor, and filmmaker known for his sharp wit and dark humor. His quotes are a mix of hilarious observations, biting sarcasm, and unexpected wisdom. Whether you’re a fan of stand-up comedy or just love a good laugh, his words will stick with you. Here are some of his best quotes that showcase his unique perspective on life, fame, and human nature.
Bobcat Goldthwait on Life and Society
Bobcat doesn’t hold back when talking about the absurdities of life. His humor cuts deep but always makes you think.
🔹 “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
🔹 “The world is run by C students.”
🔹 “People say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a jet ski. Have you ever seen someone frown on a jet ski?”
🔹 “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.”
🔹 “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
Ever notice how some truths are funnier when they’re brutally honest? Bobcat nails it every time.
Bobcat Goldthwait on Fame and Hollywood
He’s been in the entertainment industry for decades, and his take on fame is both funny and eye-opening.
🔹 “Fame is like a big pie. Everyone gets a slice, but some people get a bigger slice, and some people get pie in their face.”
🔹 “Hollywood is the only place where you can die of encouragement.”
🔹 “I’m not a has-been. I’m a never-was with a great agent.”
🔹 “Celebrities are just people who stopped washing their own cars.”
🔹 “In Hollywood, if you don’t have a shrink, people think you’re crazy.”
He’s seen the highs and lows of fame, and his jokes reflect that.
Bobcat Goldthwait on Comedy and Creativity
As a comedian, Bobcat knows what makes people laugh—and what doesn’t.
🔹 “Comedy is just a funny way of being serious.”
🔹 “I don’t do jokes. I do observations that people laugh at.”
🔹 “If you’re not offending someone, you’re not doing comedy right.”
🔹 “The best comedy comes from truth. The worse the truth, the funnier the joke.”
🔹 “I don’t care if you laugh. I care if you think.”
His approach to comedy isn’t just about getting laughs—it’s about making people see things differently.
Bobcat Goldthwait on Relationships and Human Nature
His humor often touches on love, friendship, and why people act the way they do.
🔹 “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
🔹 “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.”
🔹 “Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.”
🔹 “Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.”
🔹 “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
Relationships are messy, and Bobcat isn’t afraid to joke about it.
Bobcat Goldthwait on Politics and Society
He’s never shy about calling out hypocrisy or stupidity.
🔹 “Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.”
🔹 “Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.”
🔹 “The problem with political jokes is they get elected.”
🔹 “If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.”
🔹 “The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.”
His political humor is as sharp as it gets.
Final Thoughts
Bobcat Goldthwait’s quotes are a mix of humor, truth, and sarcasm. Whether he’s talking about fame, relationships, or society, his words make you laugh—and think. Which quote stuck with you the most? Drop it in the comments!
📌 Want more? Check out his stand-up specials or films for even more laughs. His humor isn’t for everyone, but if you get it, you’ll love it.
